Conflict is often seen as a hurdle in group settings, but recent insights reveal it can be a constructive force when approached with intention. Jazmin Pichardo and Beth Douthirt-Cohen, educators specializing in intergroup dialogue, explain how people can develop the capacity to face difficult conversations while preserving relationships.
- Learning to stay in relationship through conflict is a teachable skill.
- Facing conflict with curiosity enables deeper understanding, not just winning arguments.
- Small, conscious responses build the capacity to handle tough conversations.
What happened
Navigating conflict in everyday life—whether in a post office line or a PTA meeting—often feels challenging due to differing perspectives and heightened emotions. Jazmin Pichardo and Beth Douthirt-Cohen have worked extensively at the University of Maryland helping people build their capacity to engage in these conflicts healthily and productively. Their approach acknowledges conflict as a vital part of collaboration and focuses on teaching concrete practices to face it rather than avoid it.
Pichardo and Douthirt-Cohen emphasize that conflicts don’t have to push people apart; instead, they can serve as opportunities to choose connection and deepen understanding. Their programs guide participants in developing bodily awareness and micro-moment choices that allow them to respond thoughtfully rather than reactively in difficult conversations.
Why it feels good
Choosing to stay connected during conflict is fundamentally about expanding personal agency. Rather than defaulting to avoidance or defensiveness, participants learn to face discomfort with curiosity and openness. This shift fosters empathy and reduces the sting of disagreement, transforming conflict from a trigger for withdrawal into a gateway for growth.
When people practice ‘choosing relationship,’ they not only keep dialogue alive but also build trust and resilience within communities. This skill supports meaningful collaboration, helping groups to navigate power differences and identity dynamics with mutual respect. The lived experience of connection, even amid tension, nurtures a more hopeful and cooperative culture.
What to enjoy or watch next
If you want to explore these ideas further, consider looking into intergroup dialogue programs or workshops that focus on communication skills around conflict and difference. The University of Maryland’s Intergroup Dialogue Training Hub offers resources and training that many find helpful for developing these essential capacities.
On a personal level, practicing mindful presence and small experiments in conversations can deepen your comfort with tension. Notice moments when you can choose curiosity over judgment or connection over withdrawal. Cultivating these micro-skills can help unlock a world where conflict serves not as a barrier but as a bridge.