Dr. Rebecca Kennedy, a clinical psychologist and bestselling author, shares a quick and easy parenting tip that can make children less rude and more cooperative by simply asking them how parents could improve.
- Ask kids what parents could do better
- Listening fosters respect and cooperation
- Simple question builds stronger parent-child bonds
What happened
Dr. Rebecca Kennedy, a clinical psychologist known as Dr. Becky and author of the bestseller Good Inside, shared a short tip for parenting on social media in April 2024. She encourages parents to ask their children a single question: 'What could I do better as your parent?' This quick interaction takes about 15 seconds and invites open communication.
Although kids might respond with humorous or impractical answers, the key is for parents to genuinely listen and follow up with questions to deepen the conversation. This approach has gained attention for its simplicity and positive effect on reducing rudeness and increasing cooperation in children of any age.
Why it feels good
The practice of asking this question conveys to children that their parents care, respect, and are invested in their relationship. These messages nurture emotional connection, making kids feel heard and valued. When children experience this connection, they tend to respond with better behavior and willingness to cooperate rather than rudeness or defiance.
Dr. Becky explains that this method reduces the need for repeated nagging and confrontations by fostering warmth and open two-way communication. While not from a specific study, the advice aligns with research showing that authoritative parenting styles—combining warmth with clear boundaries—lead to more positive outcomes with children.
What to enjoy or watch next
If you want to try this method, look for moments when things are calm and everyone is relaxed to ask the question, making it a preventive tool before conflicts arise. Many parents have found delight in the unexpected or funny answers their children give, turning the moment into a bonding experience.
For those interested in more strategies to improve parent-child relationships and handle challenging behaviors, Dr. Becky offers resources like her Conquering Problem Behaviors Workshop. These tools provide a range of approaches to strengthen family connection and ease everyday parenting struggles.