Rather than offering direct praise, some parents have found success in expressing genuine, heartfelt affirmations about their children within earshot but out of direct view. This subtle yet powerful technique helps children absorb encouragement in a way that feels spontaneous and sincere, nurturing their confidence naturally.
- Overheard praise feels more genuine and impactful for kids
- Focusing on effort and process helps nurture real confidence
- Parents find this simple technique easy to incorporate daily
What happened
Parents Namwila Mulwanda and Zephi shared a viral video demonstrating a gentle parenting technique where they talk about their daughter, Nhyara, with her nearby but out of sight. Instead of giving direct praise, they intentionally have conversations highlighting her achievements and qualities so she can overhear and absorb the messages naturally. The couple emphasizes realistic, specific compliments about her efforts, like tackling a difficult word while reading or showing independence by brushing her teeth on her own.
This approach has resonated widely, sparking an outpouring of responses from other parents who share similar practices or express appreciation for the idea. Comments include stories of adapting the technique creatively, such as pretending to make phone calls to offer such praise. The method’s authenticity is a key reason for its popularity, offering an alternative to often scripted or potentially hollow direct praise.
Why it feels good
Children tend to perceive conversations between adults as more genuine and honest than praise directed at them, which they might view as having the purpose of shaping their behavior. Overheard praise feels spontaneous and sincere, helping children internalize affirmations without pressure or skepticism. This fosters a natural boost in self-esteem because the child senses the authenticity behind the words.
Parenting experts agree that this method strengthens positive reinforcement by focusing on efforts and learning processes rather than just innate abilities. By overhearing thoughtful praise about their persistence or bravery, children are encouraged to see themselves as capable and growing. The technique aligns with gentle parenting principles that emphasize respect, empathy, and empowerment.
What to enjoy or watch next
Parents inspired by this technique can experiment with creating genuine praise moments within their homes, speaking positively about their child’s accomplishments and character traits just out of direct sight but within hearing range. This simple yet effective practice can be incorporated into everyday routines, such as during family time or casual conversations with partners or relatives.
For those interested in exploring gentle parenting further, following content creators like Namwila Mulwanda—who shares insights on growing confidence and empowerment in her Substack and shop offerings—can provide ongoing encouragement and ideas. Watching similar viral videos or reading stories from families using indirect praise offers both inspiration and practical guidance for nurturing confident, resilient children.