After long days of school, many children face a wave of exhaustion and emotions, often leading to outbursts when they get home. Parenting coach Rahela Tayyebi experienced this firsthand with her son and discovered a gentle new approach to ease these difficult moments.
- Children release their pent-up emotions when they feel safe at home
- The first 20 minutes after school are crucial for calming down
- Simple acts of connection and movement help children settle
What happened
Rahela Tayyebi noticed a clear pattern with her eldest son: after school, he would often throw his bag, cry over small things, or act out with anger. While mornings had posed challenges, it was the afternoons that truly left her puzzled. She wondered if he disliked school or if something troubling had occurred during the day.
Recognizing that children spend hours holding in emotions—following instructions, sitting still, and managing feelings—Rahela realized that once her son returned home to a safe space, all those bottled-up frustrations surfaced. Rather than giving parents a hard time, children were simply having a hard time, finally able to express it when they felt secure.
Why it feels good
Rahela calls the first 20 minutes after school the “landing window”—a crucial period for letting children decompress. Instead of bombarding them with questions, she recommends a warm welcome: a smile, a hug, or a gentle touch to help their body and mind shift from stress to safety.
Offering a snack and water, sitting nearby quietly, and allowing children this space to arrive home fully helps regulate their emotions. Physical movement, like running or playing, can also help them release built-up energy, making it easier for them to calm down and feel grounded.
What to enjoy or watch next
Once children are calm and settled, gentle conversational starters such as “What made you laugh today?” or “Who did you sit next to at lunch?” can open the door to sharing without pressure. Parents are encouraged to stay curious and listen deeply rather than rushing to solve problems.
This approach—arrive, eat, move, connect, then do homework—helps maintain after-school afternoons as a time of warmth and connection. When children feel heard and safe, they are more relaxed, open, and better able to learn and engage with their day.