Harvard-trained psychiatrist Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy reveals an easy yet profound way to gain clarity and reduce emotional reactivity using just one Post-it note.
- Recognize the three levels: experience, story, reaction
- Use awareness to create distance from emotions
- Transform reactions into calm, wise responses
What happened
Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy, a psychiatrist trained at Harvard, explains that our minds operate on three levels during any event: the direct experience, the story we create about it, and our reaction to that story. Often, it’s the story—an explanation we invent to fill in gaps—that triggers strong emotional responses and interpersonal tension.
To illustrate this, she places three Post-it notes labeled 'Experience,' 'Story,' and 'Reaction' on a whiteboard. She identifies that many suffer because they react to self-created narratives rather than just the raw experience, causing emotional upheaval and strained relationships.
Why it feels good
The key to breaking the cycle of reaction, Dr. Sundaramoorthy teaches, is a small but powerful step: awareness. By noticing emotions as passing clouds instead of permanent states, individuals gain distance from their thoughts and feelings. This mindful recognition disrupts automatic reactions, fostering calm instead.
This idea resonates with ancient Eastern philosophies like Buddhism, which emphasize observing emotions without attachment. Mental health professionals echo that cultivating awareness increases the space between stimulus and response, making measured reactions easier with practice.
What to enjoy or watch next
Try replicating Dr. Sundaramoorthy’s simple exercise at home by writing down your own 'Experience,' 'Story,' and 'Reaction' related to a recent stressful event. Add a smaller note for 'Awareness' to remind yourself to observe your emotions without judgment before responding.
For further learning, explore mindfulness practices or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques, which encourage similar awareness and detachment from self-created stories. These tools can help you build emotional resilience and improve connections with people around you.