Social situations can be nerve-wracking, especially when you’re unsure how to start a conversation or make a good impression. Harvard Business School research reveals that the secret to likability isn’t flashy charm—it’s asking the right questions. Behavioral scientist Dr. Alison Wood Brooks offers 10 carefully crafted questions designed to help people fall 'in like' with you by sparking genuine, engaging conversations.
- Asking questions boosts likability by showing genuine interest.
- 10 research-backed questions help deepen social connections.
- Following up on answers enhances trust and mutual liking.
What happened
Dr. Alison Wood Brooks, a behavioral research scientist, shared a set of 10 proven questions that help people fall 'in like' quickly when meeting others. These questions are adaptations of psychologist Arthur Aron’s 36 questions originally designed to accelerate romantic connection. Brooks tailored them to suit everyday social interactions, aiming to make conversations easier and more meaningful.
Her insights come from Harvard Business School research underscoring that the key to being likable is not trying to impress, but rather showing genuine interest by asking thoughtful questions. Many people regret when conversations lack this give-and-take, wishing the other person had been more curious. These 10 questions offer a straightforward way to invite openness and warmth in any setting.
Why it feels good
The power of these questions lies in their open-ended nature, giving people space to talk about what they enjoy and care about. They encourage vulnerability and authentic sharing, which research shows makes people seem more relatable and attractive socially. When you genuinely listen and follow up, it signals that you value the other person’s experience.
This practice taps into the psychological principle of reciprocal liking—people tend to like those who show that they like them. Having a question and two follow-up inquiries ready can quickly foster trust and a sense of connection, transforming awkward small talk into engaging conversations that leave everyone feeling appreciated.
What to enjoy or watch next
Try keeping one or two of these questions handy for your next social gathering or professional meeting. Whether it’s ‘What’s something you’re bad at but love to do?’ or ‘Has someone made you laugh recently?’ these questions can break the ice and build genuine interest. The real magic happens when you listen carefully and respond with thoughtful follow-ups.
For further inspiration on human connection, explore the original 36 questions by Arthur Aron or tune into podcasts like The Diary of a CEO, where Dr. Brooks discusses the science behind likability. Practicing curiosity and attentiveness in your daily interactions can enrich relationships and bring more warmth into everyday moments.