In a world where the feeling of invisibility and isolation is common, research highlights small habits that help people feel valued and connected. These practical steps encourage recognizing our impact on others and nurturing meaningful bonds that uplift both giver and receiver.
- Name one way you made a difference each day
- Collect and revisit evidence of your positive impact
- Create community connections in familiar ‘mattering spaces’
What happened
Jennifer Breheny Wallace has explored the widespread experience of feeling unnoticed or unvalued, describing it as a ‘mattering gap’—the difference between how much we feel valued and how much we truly are. In her new book 'Mattering,' she outlines practical habits to help close this gap by both giving and receiving recognition.
Her approach is straightforward but impactful: at the end of each day, reflect on one small way you made a positive difference, whether by listening to a friend, sharing a laugh, or handling a tough moment with grace. Writing these moments down fosters awareness of your ongoing value and counters feelings of isolation.
Why it feels good
Acknowledging small actions and keeping an ‘impact file’ of thank-you notes or kind messages helps individuals see concrete proof of their importance to others. This practice interrupts negative self-narratives and reminds us of the meaningful connections we create, even in subtle ways.
Moreover, giving meaningful thanks—thanking someone not just for a gift but for who they are—strengthens bonds. Following up on advice by sharing outcomes also closes a relationship loop, showing respect and appreciation that nurtures mutual mattering.
What to enjoy or watch next
Wallace encourages cultivating 'mattering spaces'—places like a favorite coffee shop or local gym where regular presence allows you to become a known and valued face. These spots foster deeper human connection beyond home and work.
Her challenge is to imagine everyone wears an invisible sign asking, 'Do I matter?' and to respond to that question in every interaction. By affirming others’ value daily, you also reinforce your own importance and capacity to make a positive difference.