When a man asks, "May I buy you a drink?" the answer can feel loaded with uncertainty. Feminist writer Jennifer Dziura shares a clever yet fool-proof tactic to safely gauge the true motivation behind the offer, reducing risk and saving time.
- Ask for something non-alcoholic to test true intentions
- Grumpy or pushy reactions are important warning signs
- Bartenders support safe approaches to drinking offers
What happened
Jennifer Dziura, a New York-based writer and educator, shared a practical approach to respond when asked, "Can I buy you a drink?" She advises asking for a non-alcoholic beverage or snack instead of alcohol. This simple move is designed not to embarrass the asker but to reveal if their intention is genuine or potentially unsafe.
Her suggestion quickly went viral after being posted on Tumblr, attracting support from bartenders and community members. Many people in nightlife environments recognize the tactic’s value in protecting oneself from people who might use alcohol to lower others' defenses or take advantage.
Why it feels good
This approach empowers women and others approached in social settings by giving them a respectful way to test a person’s intentions without confrontation. Asking for a non-alcoholic drink is reasonable, inexpensive, and non-accusatory, making it a perfect safety check.
Moreover, it sets clear boundaries early, helping avoid prolonged unwanted interactions. Bartenders chiming in explained that many men buy drinks with the aim of manipulating or rushing others, and that the tactic can help identify those unlikely to respect personal limits, fostering a safer nightlife culture.
What to enjoy or watch next
When accepting drinks or engaging socially, it's helpful to keep simple safety rules in mind: trust your instincts, communicate clearly, and feel no obligation to extend interactions beyond your comfort. Bartenders recommend choosing lighter, lower-alcohol drinks if you want to pace yourself, and to always watch your drink closely.
Exploring more on community safety, you might enjoy following Jennifer Dziura’s writings on empowerment and social humor or tuning into discussions about respectful nightlife behavior. These resources can equip you with knowledge and humor to confidently navigate social environments.